Column 8

Where's Granny? The new Herald website has contributors searching high and low for us. While Christo Curtis of Beaconsfield asks: "Did Granny die?", David Bennetts of Bowral says: "I thought for a moment Granny had been sent off to an aged care facility. The only way I could gain access was by means of a search engine. Fortunately that didn't run out of puff, and I found you hiding away under NSW somewhere, still in business. Thank heaven for that, no matter how much the world is disintegrating around us, we still have Column 8 to keep us sane. Could we please have a heading so we can find you?"

Barrie Drake isn't the only beneficiary of pavement tomatoes (C8). Maurice Collins of Wollongbar says: "My cherry tomatoes in the vegie garden never do well but when they come up self-sown in a crack in the concrete they never need watering even in a heatwave and always produce lots." That said, Robyn Hansen of Pennant Hills reckons: "If Barry has time on his hands to count 960 cherry tomatoes, would he mind popping over to my house to help with some weeding?"

"So the Nationals have elected Michael McCormack as their leader," writes Julie Bell of Tenambit. "I thought they wanted less spice in their leaders." Just as long as he can cut the mustard.

Bill Wilkinson of Tumbarumba says: "I bet a lot of my past students are relieved that I wasn't allowed to carry a gun when I was their teacher."

"Sadly, John Perdriau's American-inspired language (C8) has taken root dangerously close to Column 8," writes Phil Rodwell of Redfern. "George Palathingal's review of the weekend concert in Centennial Park reports that women in the audience were lucky enough to have been provided with 'bathrooms'. So handy if you feel like a quick shower after a few hours in the mosh pit."

Speaking of jargon, we got a rise out of this contribution from Anthony Healy of Willoughby East: "An article in the Herald on Sunday stated that Loreto Kirribilli was planning a five-storey development that would contain two 'vertical connection pods.' I guess they meant lifts."

Our kitchen explosions thread (C8) has moved to the turf. Ellen Kassel of Collaroy writes: "While dining at Meadowlands Racetrack, my water glass exploded all by itself. Staff came running, cleaned, swept, apologised AND no charge for dinner. Amazing. Been hoping for another exploding glass for years."